Reidblog [The Reid Report blog]

Think at your own risk.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
The untalented Mr. Federline
More proof that we are in the End Times, from AP: "The dawn of Kevin Federline's hip-hop career has begun." Great. Hip hop was pretty much dead anyway, so what's one more wanna be gangsta between friends?

Kevin is even trying to play the role, straight out of the BET playbook: he's an absentee father to the two kids he fathered with the "baby mama" he never married, and to whom he doesn't always pay his child support ... he plays golf dressed like a hobo in some sort of vain attempt to rub the "thug life" in the face of "the man," and when he's not hitting the public fairlanes, he spends more time partying, getting drunk and shopping with his current lady's money than helping the wife take care of his latest offspring (sorry, Brit, but as Shar Jackson said after Kev dumped her at eight months pregant to get with you, “C’mon, kiddo, did you think things were going to be different. ... Kevin was there for (daughter) Kori every single day of her life until I told him to go out and get a job.”) ... he dresses like he's 14, even though he's about twice that age ... his first single was produced by somebody calling himself "Disco D" ... in 2005 ... and contains memorable lyrics like: "Back then, they called me K-Fed, but you can call me Daddy instead," and "Steppin' in this game and y'all ain't got a clue. Getting anxious? Go take a peep/ I'm starrin' in your magazines now every day and week. ... "But maybe baby you can wait and see/ Until then all these Pavarottis followin' me."

Um ... "K-Fed"? darling ...?... The people who follow you around popping flashbulbs in your face -- well, the ones who follow your wife around, anyway -- are called paparazzi. Pavoratti sings opera. Maybe Britney could spring for a re-record??? Or maybe not. Apparently, when she heard Kev's rap stylings, Brit (who's no Pavarotti herself) laughed in his face. (BTW, could K-Fed soon have two baby-mamas he's not married to? Now THAT's what I call gangsta!!! Maybe Bill Cosby could condemn Kev personally and really get his career going...)

Yep. Cue the four horsemen and the many-horned beast. It's over.

BTW, all you cynics out there, please stop calling my boy K-Fed the new Vanilla Ice. He'd have to sell about 1 million copies of his debut album, "The Truth," in order to be Vanilla Ice. He probably won't even sell 1/100th of that amount... which means it's all over but the revoked Amex Black card and the reposessed bling. One saving grace for K-Fed: he apparently is psychic, having written the following along with the previously reported gems:

"My prediction is that y'all gonna hate on the style we create, straight 2008."

Your prediction is correct, sir. We hate it, and will still hate it three years from now.

Update: If you think you can take it, here's the product, entitled, "Y'all ain't ready." ... don't say I didn't warn you...

Tags: , Britney Spears, Britney, Music, kfed, Entertainment, Shar Jackson

posted by JReid @ 1:06 PM  
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