 Scott McClellan, the chubby dissembler who would not comment on an ongoing investigation has resigned. Replacement buzz in the Freepersphere is still swirling around Fox News resident Bushophile (actually they're all resident Bushophiles, but he's one of the most prominent) and former Bush I speechwriter Tony Snow. Other chat: Dan Senor (former Iraq CPA flak).
Other changes: American foreign and domestic policy will no longer pass through the able (ahem...) hands of Karl Rove. He will give up the policy game and instead focus on politics, namely the November elections.
Back to Scott. In this hour of grief, I think it's a good time to think back, and remember some of McClellan's greatest hits: "You're engaging in the politics of wild speculation..." -- McClellan in the April 10 White House press briefing, scolding reporters for asking him about a possible U.S. nuclear attack on Iran. "... again, David, see, this is where some people want to look at the blame game issue, and finger-point. We're focused on solving problems, and we're doing everything we can. ..." Scolding NBC's David Gregory in the September 8, 2005 press briefing for asking whether President Bush retains confidence in then-FEMA chief Michael Brown and Homeland Security Director Michael Chertoff. "...And what you're doing is trying to engage in a game of finger-pointing. ..." -- same press conference, as Gregory becomes increasingly exasperated trying to get Scott to answer the question. Read the entire exchange here. I promise you'll smile... "Well, I think you're referring -- a couple of things. First of all, it was publicly released that day, so that's when a portion of the National Intelligence Estimate that we were making available to the public was released. The second part of your question is referring to an ongoing legal proceeding, and referring to a filing in that legal proceeding. We have had a policy in place, going back to the October time period of 2003, that we are not going to comment on an ongoing investigation or an ongoing legal proceeding. That policy remains unchanged. ..." --Scott refusing to answer a question during the April 8 press briefing, about the declassification of a National Intelligence Estimate that may have led to the outing of Valerie Plame. "But let me point out a couple of facts, step back from this legal proceeding. The President of the United States has the authority to declassify information. I also indicated to some reporters earlier today that the President would never authorize the disclosure of information that he felt could compromise our nation's security. Now, the National Intelligence Estimate was declassified -- portions of it were declassified. We made sure that we did not -- that we continued to protect sensitive sources and methods within the National Intelligence Estimate..." -- McClellan commenting on the ongoing investigation to defend the president, just miliseconds later. "The President believes the leaking of classified information is a very serious matter. And I think that's why it's important to draw a distinction here. Declassifying information and providing it to the public, when it is in the public interest, is one thing. But leaking classified information that could compromise our national security is something that is very serious. And there is a distinction. Now, there are Democrats out there that fail to recognize that distinction, or refuse to recognize that distinction. They are simply engaging in crass politics. Let's make clear what the distinction is." -- McClellan commenting yet again during that April 8 briefing on the ongoing investigation ... but only for the purpose of bashing the Democrats... Yes, Scott. We're going to miss you. You were less douche-baggy than Ari Fleischer, and yet just as oblique and slippery. Godspeed, my chubby friend. Update: Michael Wolff of Vanity Fair takes a well-timed (now parting) shot at the man we simply refer to as Scott. Un clip: A kind of daily Socratic dialogue, or at least an attempt at one, continues to take place in the briefing room in a method of inquiry initiated by Joseph Tumulty, Woodrow Wilson's primary aide and, effectively, the nation's first press secretary: a ritual Q&A that leads to both what the White House wants you to know and away from what it doesn't want you to know. Only, now the dialogue is led by something of a knuckleheaded Socrates, each day struggling and failing to talk his way out of a paper bag.
It's this verbal haplessness that has made Scott McClellan—a pleasant, low-wattage, old-before-his-time young fellow, with, at 38, a wife, no children, and "two dogs and four cats"—the living symbol of this White House's profound and, perhaps, mortal problem with language and meaning. McClellan himself, as though having some terrible social disability, has, standing miserably in the press briefing room every day, become a kick-me archetype. He's Piggy in Lord of the Flies: a living victim, whose reason for being is, apparently, to shoulder public ridicule and pain (or, come to think of it, he's Squealer from Animal Farm). He's the person nobody would ever choose to be. Oh yeah, I'm really gonna miss you, Scott. Really really. (RCP no likey Wolff...) Snow day? Auntie Kim at Wizbang votes for Tony Snow (after all, it wouldn't involve him changing a single thing about his present job of hacking for the prez...)
Rightwinged tries to get ahead of the Snow spin, but can't keep from calling Tony a journalist... Sister Toldjah votes for Stephen Hayes as Scottie's replacement. That way the info could go stragiht from the neocon command center to your waiting ears (with no chubby filtration...) Until I read something better, Newsbusters scores the reader post of the day: The fat little Wal Mart manager lookalike finally turned in his papers so there is an opening for his job. Some of the posters on this site seem well qualified to fill it. Will anyone be able to fill Scotty's shoes? Who can master the art of "we don't comment on ongoing investigations?" Who has the stamina to repeat day after day, week after week, that Saddam "was a grave threat"? Who has the skill to weave the words "terrorists flew planes into buildings" into at least one question per briefing? Nice work, Otto, whoever you are... I think John Hinderaker wants Scotty's job for himself... that way he could practice his love on the president up close... ...But he's gonna have to fight BlackFive for the position... So what kind of job would Snow do as official (as opposed to currently unofficial) Bush press dog? Why, he could move stories like this one! Actually, I'm fairly drooling at the prospect of watching Tony get ticked off at David Gregory and accuse the entire press corps of treason before ripping off his wireless mike and stomping off the podium during a White House press briefing. Then he could arrange an exclusive interview with President Bush and Sean Hannity, in which Hannity would conduct the entire inquiry with his head gently nestled in the president's lap... and think of all the cool leaks FNC would get from the White House ... oh wait, they already get those, but still...! Oh yeah, Josh Bolten. Definitely go with Snow. If not him, you've gotta go with Matt Drudge. And then he'd have to lose the hat... Update 2: Mike V don't see no stinkin' changes... (me neither, man...) Taylor Marsh asks, does anybody even want this job? The Hotline blog recounts the systemic failures at the White House ... no, only the ones this morning... the Hotliners also throw out some other possible replacements for the Man Who Would Not Comment... (though I think it's time to take Torie Clark off the list, since having been inside, she seems completely spooked by even the possibility of going back inside the bunker...) Previous: Tags: Bush administration, White House, Scott McClellan |
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