No, they will very likely never be running mates, but Barack and Hillary ARE Brangelina ... (ewww...) which of course means that she's a ruthless, man-stealing wench / orphaned, foreign child collector, and he's a dope who still talks to his ex and is far too easily roped into syrupy, pretentious humanitarian-chic photo-ops that he hopes will buy his wife's affection for their actual children. In fact, Barack would be just up Angelina's adoption alley, were he considerably younger and actually IN Kenya! ... but I digress...
The New England Historic Genealogical Society reported that Mr Obama is a distant cousin of actor Brad Pitt, while Mrs Clinton is related to Pitt's girlfriend, Angelina Jolie.
Releasing the findings of a three-year-long study, the society issued a bizarre - if intriguing - array of blood ties between the presidential candidates and the great and the good on both sides of the Atlantic.
Among them, Mr Obama is said to be distantly related to Sir Winston Churchill, while his rival Mrs Clinton is reportedly a cousin, far removed, of the Duchess of Cornwall.
Researchers at America's oldest genealogical groups also said that Mrs Clinton, who is of French-Canadian descent on her mother's side, has familial ties to the singers Madonna, Celine Dion and Alanis Morissette, as well as the author Jack Kerouac.
They claimed that Mr Obama, whose white mother was from Kansas and black father from Kenya, is linked to six US presidents - both Democratic and Republican - including George W Bush, who is said to be a 10th cousin. ... She's related to Madonna???!!! ... (ahem) So how DID the researhers forget Dick Cheney? Is Obama not related to him anymore? And if he still is, does that mean that Dick and Dubya are somehow distant cousins, too? One shudders to even think about it.
As for John McCain, apparently the thought of tracing his ancestry bored the crap out of the research team, so they didn't bother. No, actuallly his records just aren't that complete ... darn that Panamanian systema de recordes! Labels: 2008 election, Barack Obama, Brangelina, celebrities, Hillary Clinton, presidential candidates |
