In case you missed it, the funny bits from the WHCD. Cue the winger backlash over Wanda Sykes hilarious digs at Limbaugh (now to be known as the strung out 20th hijacker) and Dick Cheney. Watch:
1. Wanda part 1
2. Wanda, part 2 (you go girl!)
3. But was she funnier than President Obama? Judge for yourself (and don’t mind the C-SPAN lip sync problem…)
UPDATE: The reviews are in:
EW says both Obama and Wanda killed
The Politico writer wasn’t listening. … too busy gawking at all the celebrities… yeah, I understand. Eight years of nothing but Kelsey Grammer, an aging Bo Derek and Dennis “not even kind of funny” Miller had to be one hell of a bummer…
Newsbusters whinges that Sykes only attacked conservatives and white people… waaaaa… but they helpfully transcribe all of Wanda’s best zingers, which I’ll be helpful in providing below:
* I know Governor Palin, she’s not here tonight. She pulled out at the last minute. You know, somebody should tell her that’s not really how you practice abstinence.
* And I have to say to the First Lady, kudos to you for unveiling the bust of the Sojourner of Truth in the White House. That’s, yes. And, but, could you do me a favor and please make sure it’s nailed down real well since, ’cause you know when the next white guy comes in they gonna move it to the kitchen.
* Rush Limbaugh, one of your big critics, boy, Rush Limbaugh said he hopes this administration fails. So, you’re saying “I hope America fails,” it’s like, I don’t care about people losing their homes, or their jobs, our soldiers in Iraq. He just wants the country to fail. To me, that’s treason. He’s not saying anything differently than what Osama bin Laden is saying. You know, you might want to look into this, Sir, because I think maybe Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker, but he was just so strung out on oxycontin he missed his flight.
* Rush Limbaugh, I hope the country fails, I hope his kidneys fail, how ’bout that? Needs a little waterboarding, that’s what he needs.
* Sean Hannity, Sean Hannity said he’s going to get waterboarded for charity, for our armed forces. He hasn’t done it yet, I see. You know, talking about how he can take a waterboarding. Please. Okay, he can take a waterboarding by someone you know and trust, but let somebody from Pakistan waterboard, or Keith Olbermann. Let Keith Olbermann waterboard him. He can’t take a waterboarding. I can break Sean Hannity just by giving him a middle seat in coach.
* Dick Cheney, oh my God, he’s a scary man, scares me to death. I tell my kids, I says, “Look, if two cars pull up, and one has a stranger, and the other car has Dick Cheney, you get in the car with the stranger.”
* And finally, Sir, they even gave you grief about the dog, about Bo. You know, the animal rights people on you, “Why didn’t he get a rescue dog? Why didn’t he get a rescue dog?” Look, the man has to rescue a country that’s been abused by its previous owner. Let him have a fresh start with a dog.
God, those never get old… Not to be outdone, here are Obama’s best lines:
“I strongly believe my next 100 days will be so successful I will finish them in 72 days,” Obama said. “And on the 73rd day I will rest.”
“Michael Steele is in the house tonight – or as he would say, ‘in the heezee,’ he said, pausing for laughter before adding, “Whas’ up?” [Needless to say, the self-obsessed Steele lapped up the attention.]‘
“That brings me to another thing that’s changed – my relationship with Hillary. We may have been rivals during the campaign, but these days we couldn’t be closer. In fact, the second she got back from Mexico she greeted me with a big hug and a kiss – told me I really oughta get down there myself.
“In the next hundred days, our bipartisan outreach will be so successful that even John Boehner will consider becoming a Democrat. After all, we have a lot in common. He is a person of color. Although not a color that appears in the natural world. …