Tiger Woods: the 911 call (plus more updates)

Tiger Woods and wife Elin.

Tiger Woods and wife Elin.

Yes, yes, we shouldn’t care. So anyway, here comes the Tiger 911 call. According to TMZ, which is, once again, leading this news story, with the MSM trailing warily behind:

The caller, a male, can be heard telling dispatchers, “I need an ambulance immediately, I have someone down outside my house … It’s a car accident … My neighbor, he hit the tree. I see him and he’s laying down.”

When the dispatcher asked if the person was unconscious, the neighbor responded, “Yes.”

Audio of the 911 call and Tiger’s statement after the jump.
Here’s the now publicly released audio:

Meanwhile, TMZ also reports that Tiger told a friend he’d be needing a “Kobe special” (meaning a big, big ring for his angry wife, a Swede who apparently “went ghetto” on him … yeah, just picture Tiger saying that) … and he is now rebuffing attempts by police to snag an interview, the better to discern how he got those scratches on his face. Could it be that he’s hoping they heal before he has to talk to the cops?

Also: Tiger has released the following statement via his website:

As you all know, I had a single-car accident earlier this week, and sustained some injuries. I have some cuts, bruising and right now I’m pretty sore.

This situation is my fault, and it’s obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I’m human and I’m not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn’t happen again.

This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.

The only person responsible for the accident is me. My wife, Elin, acted courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble. She was the first person to help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.

This incident has been stressful and very difficult for Elin, our family and me. I appreciate all the concern and well wishes that we have received. But, I would also ask for some understanding that my family and I deserve some privacy no matter how intrusive some people can be.

Ok, so Tiger’s publicists are on the job. Meanwhile, there’s more info about the golf star’s Cadillac Escalade, which apparently was banged up in the crash to the tune of $8,000. Local TV station WFTV has photos of the car-on-tree action. From what I’ve seen, the header doesn’t look like one that would have required Tiger’s wife to bust out the back windows of the truck in order to free him.

I sure hope Tiger’s team knows what they’re doing. It seems to me that by dragging this out, swapping stories and stonewalling the police, in what sure looks like an attempt to cover Elin Nordegren’s hind-quarters, is just making things worse. I’m not alone on that score. Hell, I’m not even a golf fan and the intrigue surrounding the story has ME interested! Meanwhile, everyone from PR pros to columnists is advising Tiger to change course, and come clean, sooner rather than later. As Gerald Posner points out in TDB, a lot is at stake.

Also: in a really bad sign for the planet, Glorida Alred has entered the picture

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