Blasian saddles!
The appropriately named Jaime Grubbs continues to cash in on those 300 text messages she saved, Monica’s blue dress style, as we now learn that Tiger Woods is even less cool than we originally thought … A few cringe-worthy excerpts, courtesy of the New York Post:
Tiger: I need you
Jaimee: then get your tight ass over here and visit me! I need u
Tiger: I will wear you out soon
Okay, let’s stop here for a moment. “I will wear you out?” Does that sound like a guy who has slept with more than ten women to you? Sorry … do go on …
Jaimee: very true … I only watch football
Tiger: Figured you would say that. Big black guys.
Jaimee: u are my first, last and only black guy! U should feel special
Tiger: why do I not believe that?
So now we have Tiger fetishizing the idea that his white girlfriend likes black guys. In fact, much of Tiger’s convo centers around the idea of Ms. Grubbs and other men … ick … along with a completely new phenomenon: Tiger Woods fetishizing his own mixed racial identity. Seriously. Here’s the piece de resistance:
Jaimee: are u leaving me cause your wife is still in newport
I am lonely now … i like falling asleep in your arms (Oct. 18, 11:38 p.m.)
Tiger: sorry baby I just can’t sleep. Its just a problem I have.
Tiger: she is not here. They left this morning
Jaimee: well I appreciate you not wanting to wake me up but if y couldn’t sleep I would have rather sat up and talked to u more … find out why I keep falling more and more for u
Tiger: Because I’m blasian
Really, Tiger? Really??? See, this is what happens when you have so much money, and so much fame, no one around you has the nerve to tell you what a goober you are. Read the rest of the texts, but only an hour or more after eating … here.
Jamie Grubbs continues her media blitz, including an interview on “Inside Edition” in which she proclaims herself to have been shocked and hurt! … wait for it … that she wasn’t Tiger’s only mistress. Grubbs also rolls out the classic side dish defense: I didn’t know he was “that kind of married…”
Meanwhile, Team Tiger moves to quash any and all videotapes containing his naked body. Oh, dear … From TMZ:
Tiger Woods’ lawyers sent a letter to multiple UK papers and blogs, stating the court order “prevents the publication of private and confidential information contained in the Order…. this Order is not to be taken as any admission that any such photographs exist, and in the event they do exist they may have been fabricated, altered, manipulated and/or changed to create the false appearance and impression that they are nude photographs of our client.”
The court order also covers any possible videos. It blocks the publication of “any photographs, footage or images taken or obtained of the claimant [Tiger] naked or any naked parts of the claimant’s [Tiger's] body or of him involved in any sexual activity.”
Well thank God. At this point, not seeing Tiger naked is all the mystery we have left.
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I hope all the black women (and men) that are rushing out and making an OJ-like defense of Tiger read some of these texts. Dork is another adjective to describe him lol.