Sure, John Mayer was on The Chappelle Show a couple of times, but then again so was the black dude from “Whose line is it, anyway?” and he sure never had a “hood pass.” And yeah, I like Mayer’s music (or at least I used to until I found out what a complete horse’s ass he is… okay, I knew he was a horse’s ass in the celebrity womanizing department, but what does that have to do with music, right…?) and you’ve gotta love “Gravity,” “Daughters” and his version of “Free Fallin’” … but why is it that when some white guys get a reasonably warm reception from black people they suddenly start thinking they’ve got a “pass” to start slinging the n-word? What’s up with that? In Mayer’s case, he let loose during a Playboy interview, and in the words of Mediaite, got caught…
… dropping an n-bomb while describing how much black people love him: “And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a ni–er pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass?”
But wait, there’s more …
To put it modestly, and keep this site PG13, Mayer told Playboy he has a “Benetton heart” (because he’s a white guy who wants to be taken seriously by black people as a blues guitarist, and seem all cool and stuff when he’s clearly just a dweeb with musical skill and the good luck that famous women like signed musicians … ) and a “white supremacist,” David Duke … um … well, you can read it yourself, or just wait for the clip at the end of the post. He also says some pretty sordid crap about (black) actress Kerry Washington (which I won’t clip), and some things about Jessica Simpson that I’m sure she won’t thank him for (although given his obvious ego, he probably expects her to.) And yes, he dishes about Jennifer Aniston. But none of that, or by the way, what he has to say about his music, will get any airtime, because Mayor decided to go for the racial nuclear option. Dude, your brain is not a wonderland.
Culture critic Touré spent a good deal of Twitter time today blasting away at Mayer, who finally apologized this afternoon. And then apologized some more in successive Tweets, just in case, and then he had this moment of epiphany. Whatever man. Pass revoked. Welcome to Kramer-land. And no, going on Sharpton’s radio show won’t help. (BTW, shouldn’t he also apologize to Jessica Simspon?)
In case you really can’t waste several precious minutes of your life reading Mayer’s rambling Playboy self-immolation (do people still read Playboy??? Just asking…) Here’s the relevant clip, cleverly edited to erase the R rated parts:
PLAYBOY: If you didn’t know you, would you think you’re a douche bag?
MAYER: It depends on what I picked up. My two biggest hits are “Your Body Is a Wonderland” and “Daughters.” If you think those songs are pandering, then you’ll think I’m a douche bag. It’s like I come on very strong. I am a very…I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That’s why black people love me.
Sorry, I feel the need to stop there, and inform all of my white brothers and sisters. Whenever you include the phrase “black people love me” in a sentence, you’ve already gone off the cliff. Immediately stop talking, and grab for the nearest crag or branch and pray that the trees below break your fall. Sorry. Continue…
MAYER: … That’s why black people love me.
PLAYBOY: Because you’re very?
MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a ni–er pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’”
PLAYBOY: It is true; a lot of rappers love you. You recorded with Common and Kanye West, played live with Jay-Z.
MAYER: What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s.
Again, sorry to break in, but seriously John … really??? That’s what you think black people’s lives are like? Jeez, Louise… continue:
PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?
MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My — is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a — David Duke —. I’m going to start dating separately from my —
Start dating??? Who at this point would be desperate enough to date you… one of Tiger Woods’ castoffs maybe??? I refer you to the “douchebag” comment a few paragraphs above…
UPDATE: Touré fires back at those who suggest letting Mayer slide (the tweets were on Roland Martin’s page, not from him. Here’s an example.):
I definitely don’t think “let it go” is a valuable, mature, or intelligent response to casual racist comments.
A white person joking about white supremacy is like s’one holding a gun on you making jokes about it. It’s not funny to you.
RT @rolandsmartin: DUMB: when black people say there are bigger issues than s’one white using the N-word. Let your boss use it.