Fox News’ new boogey”man”: Big … Mexican … Women

They’re Rubinesque … they’re from South of the Border … and they’re coming for you. Las Mexicanas Grandisimas are the most dangerous thing this side of jalapeño-loaded chili indigestion. Fear the future, my friends.

Or face it … if you have the nerve. Some examples of this fearsome lot, after the jump:

First, the facts: According to the crack reporters at the Fox “News” Channel (via the fine folks at TPM):

A loose network of Mexican-American women, some of whom may be illegal immigrants, have been responsible for helping numerous Afghan military deserters go AWOL from an Air Force Base in Texas, has learned.

Many of the Afghans, with the women’s assistance, have made their way to Canada; the whereabouts of others remain unknown. Some of the men have been schooled by the women in how to move around the U.S. without any documentation.

The Afghan deserters refer to the women as “BMWs” — Big Mexican Women — and they often are the first step in the Afghans’ journey from Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas, to Canada, a diplomatic official told

So how to you spot a “BMW”? Here are some examples right … here …

Salma Hayek … oh no wait, that’s a big-busted Mexican woman. … sorry about that. Moving on …

Wonder Woman. That’s right … she’s half-Mexican, which means she is to the terroristic BMWs what half-black Barack Obama is to the New Black Panthers. I think you see where this is going. And she’s armed with a ropey-thing. You might want to stock up on ammo … not that it will stop her once she climbs into her bulletproof, invisible plane…

Oh wait, sorry, that’s just George Lopez. But he is making kind of a scary-funny face right there, isn’t he? Great talk show, by the way, and my kids just love the reruns of his sitcom …

What were we talking about again…?

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One Response to Fox News’ new boogey”man”: Big … Mexican … Women

  1. Richard says:

    I think I’m speechless on this one–or tongue-tied and twisted.

    But I think I’ll keep the photo of Salma!

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