Tea partiers say the darndest things (video)

America: these are the people Politico and Charlie Cook say are going to take over the United States Congress in November … Get ready for America to be Palinized …

Ed Martin — your soon-to-be Congressman from Missouri, thinks Barack Obama is trying to keep you from finding the Lord:

Jesus, take the wheel … unless you can’t because Barack Obama won’t let you …

Meanwhile, Big Hair Rand Paul, your newest, inevitable Senator from Kentucky, is on record as having called Social Security and Medicare a scam (Small Hair Rand agrees, and Pat Toomey in Pennsylvania thinks so too, but he’s not crazy enough to have said it on tape…)

Sharron Angle … the gal who wants to replace Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid? … Well she’s just nuts …

Ron Johnson, who’s looking to replace that Marxist-Socialist-Pugilist Russ Feingold wants to free the free market by letting oil companies drill in the Great Lakes … did I mention he owns a bunch of BP and Exxon stock?

Okay, you got me, that picture isn’t Ron Johnson. It’s Mr. Burns. … Excellent…

And Rick Barber, your next Congressman from Alabama? He’s dredging up the ghost of Abe Lincoln to free America’s legions of Anglo-Saxon slaves. And if Atlanta gets burned to the ground again? Well… it’s a small price to pay for freedom, right Abe?

Gather … your … armies …

Let’s not forget the teabaggies who are already IN office, and fighting to stay there:

There’s David Vitter, defender of the flowers of Louisiana womanhood … ahem … he’s down with the “birther” lawsuit:

And Michelle Bachman — who many conservatives would like to see ON A PRESIDENTIAL TICKET WITH SARAH PALIN … just take that one in for a second … she knows we’re becoming a “nation of slaves…” mostly because of healthcare reform. (See? Rick Barber is right, you liberal poopie-heads!)