Come on, Michele. Come … on…
Baratunde, your witness:
I saw this headline about Bachmann signing some pledge calling for the ban of pornography. I thought, “Well, she just lost half her base.” Then I read the complete pledge and found that it is full of far more disturbing amazing language than just the porn reference.
For example, it binds the signer to oppose Sharia Law, because you know, that’s a huge threat in America right now. I recalled that I stopped buying hot dogs from the halal food cart outside my office because it always came with a side of Sharia Law, and don’t you just hate when Sharia Law spills all over your shoes? It’s so irritating!
The pledge also refers to something it calls “the intimate innocent fruit of conjugal intimacy.” This is the pledge-writers’ way of saying “children.” The “intimate fruit of conjugal intimacy” sounds like something an alien race studying humanity might say because where they come from, there is no such thing as sex. Here on planet Earth, we do have sex, and lots of it. Sometimes sex results in “children,” which is a word we have, also here on Earth.
The pledge was drafted by a group calling itself, “THE FAMiLY LEADER.” Yes, they purposefully do not capitalize the “i” in the name, which is infuriating on a whole different level.
But dude… what about the slavery part? What about THAT???
This pledge (PDF) is titled, “THE MARRIAGE VOW: A Declaration of Dependence Upon MARRIAGE and FAMiLY.” See, they did the thing with the “i” again. These are extraordinarily annoying people. To their partial credit, their pledge opens by acknowledging that one cannot claim to defend marriage without focusing on the high divorce rate, broken families, infidelity and other challenges (besides THE GAYS) “threatening” traditional marriage. Not everything they write is batshit crazy, just most of it. To their discredit, the first bullet point is:
Slavery had a disastrous impact on African-American families, yet sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two-parent household than was an African-American baby born after the election of the USA’s first African-American President.
Oh for Chrissakes. Really? Sigh…
Michele, you were doing so well! You established that you weren’t a flake! And now you go and sign a pledge that includes a statement that can be summarized “gee, slavery was terrible for slaves, but at least they grew up in two-parent households?” Right when everyone was about to stop suggesting you didn’t know history! There might have been two parents there, but that doesn’t really improve your family situation if the children are being treated like property. Do we really want to go down this path? I bet no one in slave plantations was addicted to online pornography either. And they had a lot of healthful outdoor exercise!
I don’t care what point you’re trying to make, if you see a sentence that starts “Slavery had a disastrous impact on African-American families, yet” — run as far away from that sentence as you can, because it is going nowhere good.
We do have a marriage crisis. Being reared by two stable, loving, committed parents is an opportunity far too many children are denied, and this has a horrible impact, as the vow states. But there are ways of conveying this — and what a grave problem it is — without dragging in, say, slavery.
Jack and Jill? Bring it:
Given that families were broken up regularly for sales during slavery and that rape by masters was pretty common, this could not be more offensive. I mean, putting aside the statistics on this, which are likely off-base, I could not be more angry. When will Republicans inquire with actual Black people whether or not we’re ok with invoking slavery to score cheap political points? It has to stop. It is the opposite of persuasive and is another reason Republicans repel us. It’s hard to believe that Michele Bachmann would be foolish enough to sigh this pledge.
But proving Bachmann may be crazier and more hardcore than Sarah Palin, she has.
Mother Jones has the NAACP’s response. Can a full-on Andrew Breitbart anti-NAACP meltdown be far behind?
And really, Ms. Bachmann. Wasn’t saying “Michael Steele, you be de man” enough???
UPDATE: But of course Rick Santorum signed on to the FAMiLY pledge, too. Why the hell not…