I get a lot of Twitter responses, most of them pleasant, some … well, kind of insane. Here are the best gems from this week, mostly sparked by an apparently not at all well received TV ribbing of Sarah Palin on the subject of religious dogma and Christmas trees, which my right wing re-education tells me are not at all pagan in origin and in fact were especially sacred to Jesus and to the Biblical prophet Jeremiah… (Yes, irony really is dead). As if often the case when a meme catches fire on the right, Mediaite begets Breitbart, Breitbart begets Twitchies, Twitchies beget Newsbusters, and Newsbusters begets all manner of right wing Tom foolery.
Now before we get to the Christmas madness (hey people, calm down! I like Christmas trees … I have one in my very own apartment, even! I just find it interesting that strict interpretations of the Bible from the right wing are almost always selective, and the self-proclaimed arbiters of what Christianity entails presume to speak for all Christians, rather than just for themselves and their political ideology. Also the Bible wasn’t actually written by or for the Tea Party and contains lots of Jesuitical teachings that could easily be interpreted as unfriendly to conservative social Darwinism, so…) Anyway, there were other topics that upset my friends in the Twitterverse this week, so let’s get to them, shall we?
This particular tweet could be either from a right wing libertarian, or a left wing libertarian. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference. Either way, they clearly were not amused at my not being an Edward Snowden fan-girl. I’ve made a few edits to keep it PG-13:
Next, we have the righties who get upset about my pointing out when their own people go astray: like longtime Republican, and onetime Gold Standard Conservative Bruce Bartlett, who apparently wishes to drown the tea party in a toilet:
The response to my retweet was fairly typical for the right wing Twitterverse:
Glad we’re on a first name basis, Matt. Might this be an awkward time to point out that Bartlett was an economic adviser to conservative saint, Ronald Reagan, on the tea party-friendly subject of trickle-down economics? …
Well at least our anti-RINO friend spelled “wrest” correctly.
Of course, nothing beats the wrath of a Palinite. So now, without further ado, here are some of the angry responses to my Ed Show segment:
I think he meant “you’re” … and commenting on Palin’s “wonderful whiteness” AND calling ME a racist is a nice touch! Here’s another:
Public television? Isn’t that, like, PBS??? Let’s try another:
Again, it’s YOU’RE, people. Get to know an apostrophe! Here’s the tweet, corrected:
Much better! And while indeed, I’m no theologian, I was raised in a non-denominational but mainly Methodist church, and later joined a Baptist church in Miami. So at minimum, I am familiar with the whole “God and Jesus” thing. But thanks for your feedback.
There’s also the tried and true, “take the word Obama and slap on a really snarky suffix” gambit. It’s a permutation of the “Oblammer”, “Obummer” argle-bargle method of conservative communication that we’ve all come to know and love in comments sections across the web, and of course on social media:
See how they did that? They took the word “communist,” and added “Obama” to it. Fabulous!
Of course, the most common right wing tactic of all, particularly on Twitter is to demean their opponent, and then demand to know why their opponent is so darned demeaning:
Um … did you want an answer, Jeanie, or was that a rhetorical question? And you do know that using ALL CAPS like that is basically yelling, right? But cute dog avi, though!
Then there are those who don’t even mince words. They just get it popping:
A complex argument from Margie, there, but I think I see where she’s going with it.
Here’s one that’s just confusing:
Wait, is that my mouth “running over Sarah Palin” … as in, like a truck, or “running” on a account of Sarah Palin? And I’m guessing you just called me fat, so thanks for that. And for the love of God, is using “your” instead of “you’re” some kind of right wing initiation badge, like eating at Chick-fil-A and watching “Duck Dynasty???” Jeez…
Finally, then there are the rare occasions when someone on the right just totally wins:
Step one: completely change the context of what you’re commenting on, hilariously:
I don’t remember mentioning a tree god, but OK let’s go with it… Next: add an awesome picture:
What’s better than that???? Now, cue the perfect, 140-character response:
And voila! Matt Dawson and Joe Cunningham, you just totally won the Interwebs. Use them wisely.