Guess who will be rocking the mike, and the vote, for Barack Obama on Sunday? (If you guessed Beyonce's snotty sister's baby's uncle-in-law, you're on track...!) The celebs have been pouring it on for Obama over the last few weeks, with Tyler Perry, Forrest Whitaker, Cynthia Nixon (from Sex in the City), local baller Alonzo Mourning and out-of-towner Patrick Ewing just some of the celebs passing through. Let's guess who's getting the cool kids' vote this year... (by the way, no swearing, Jigga! Fox News is watching...!)
One of my favorite actors, and coincidentally, one of the finest in Hollywood, was seriously injured in a car accident. I'm sure that all of prayers are with him.
Something about the Britney/Paris video has been nagging at the back of my mind, and I finally figured out what it was. Comparing Obama to them is wrong because they're fading stars and he's a rising star. The Britney/Paris analogue in the race is McCain: he, like they, got rather far on extremely limited talent and huge amounts of marketing, and is now desperately trying to cling to celebrity with more and more extreme antics that get him ink but offend and sadden his fans.
And that explains the raw hatred that McCain and his handlers display towards Obama: it's the hatred of the has-been (especially a has-been who never was much in the first place, a mere celebrity, like Britney rather than an actual star...
Told ya that mama business was an Eminem-ish thing. Bale and his mum apparently had a falling out over her insults to his wife. And who knew Bale's father was married to Gloria Steinem? The Globe and Mail has all the scoop on the Batman star's arrest, past and demons.
Brangelina's twins are here! (And they WILL take your man...)
Jen's nemesis gives birth to the French, and the media goes wild. If Anniston and her new beaux, John Mayer, follow suit, those little tykes had better hold onto their spouses, partners or significant others ... The latest Pitt-Jolie offspring include both a boy and a girl Sacre bleu!
Meanwhile, before they've even made it into the tabloids for dumping their spouses for a globe-trotting, do-gooder trollup, the twins have already snagged their first $20 million! Holy pimperation! |
Today's honor goes to Black Entertainment USA from Friday, regarding the acquittal of R&B singer/composer R. Kelly on child porn charges (a story that got overlooked because of the shocking death of NBC's Tim Russert. The headline?
Babwa Wawters reveals she nearly created a little Barack Obama of her own, back in the day:
NEW YORK (AP) — After three decades of keeping mum, Barbara Walters now says she had a past affair with married U.S. Senator Edward Brooke, whom she remembers as "exciting" and "brilliant."
Appearing on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" scheduled to air Tuesday, Walters shares details of her relationship with Brooke that lasted several years in the 1970s, according to a transcript of the show provided to The Associated Press.
A moderate Republican from Massachusetts who took office in 1967, Brooke was the first African-American to be popularly elected to the Senate. Both he and Walters knew that public knowledge of their affair could have ruined his career as well as hers, Walters says.
At the time, the twice-divorced Walters was a rising star in TV news and co-host of NBC's "Today" show, but would soon jump to ABC News, where she has enjoyed unrivaled success. Her affair with Brooke, which never before came to light, had ended before he lost his bid for a third term in 1978.
Brooke later divorced, and has since remarried. Calls to a listing for Brooke in Miami by The Associated Press were not immediately returned Thursday.
Walters is the guest of Oprah Winfrey to discuss her new memoir, "Audition," which covers her long career in television, as well as her off-camera life. On "Oprah," Walters recounts a phone call from a friend who urged her to stop seeing Brooke.
"He said, 'This is going to come out. This is going to ruin your career,'" then reminded her that Brooke was up for re-election a year later. "'This is going to ruin him. You've got to break this off.'"
Winfrey asks Walters if she was in love.
"I was certainly — I don't know — I was certainly infatuated."
"Infatuated."
"I was certainly involved," Walters says. "He was exciting. He was brilliant. It was exciting times in Washington." ...
"It was a long, long time ago and neither one of us ever talked about it and I don't know why," she said. "He didn't mention it and I didn't mention it," Cher told "Entertainment Tonight."
Apparently Cher and Cruise dated between 1983 and 1986, after "Risky Business" and before "The Color of Money." Cher now says she's troubled by what she sees about Cruise in the press, referring to his involvement with the Church of Scientology.
Cher, guys ... he dated Cher... what else do you need? Has this guy got to marry Liza Minelli?
No, they will very likely never be running mates, but Barack and Hillary ARE Brangelina ... (ewww...) which of course means that she's a ruthless, man-stealing wench / orphaned, foreign child collector, and he's a dope who still talks to his ex and is far too easily roped into syrupy, pretentious humanitarian-chic photo-ops that he hopes will buy his wife's affection for their actual children. In fact, Barack would be just up Angelina's adoption alley, were he considerably younger and actually IN Kenya! ... but I digress...
The New England Historic Genealogical Society reported that Mr Obama is a distant cousin of actor Brad Pitt, while Mrs Clinton is related to Pitt's girlfriend, Angelina Jolie.
Releasing the findings of a three-year-long study, the society issued a bizarre - if intriguing - array of blood ties between the presidential candidates and the great and the good on both sides of the Atlantic.
Among them, Mr Obama is said to be distantly related to Sir Winston Churchill, while his rival Mrs Clinton is reportedly a cousin, far removed, of the Duchess of Cornwall.
Researchers at America's oldest genealogical groups also said that Mrs Clinton, who is of French-Canadian descent on her mother's side, has familial ties to the singers Madonna, Celine Dion and Alanis Morissette, as well as the author Jack Kerouac.
They claimed that Mr Obama, whose white mother was from Kansas and black father from Kenya, is linked to six US presidents - both Democratic and Republican - including George W Bush, who is said to be a 10th cousin. ...
She's related to Madonna???!!! ... (ahem) So how DID the researhers forget Dick Cheney? Is Obama not related to him anymore? And if he still is, does that mean that Dick and Dubya are somehow distant cousins, too? One shudders to even think about it.
As for John McCain, apparently the thought of tracing his ancestry bored the crap out of the research team, so they didn't bother. No, actuallly his records just aren't that complete ... darn that Panamanian systema de recordes!
I guess Britney's not the only disfunctional one... nor is she the only slutty one.
Jamie Lynn's pregnant, y'all! Yes, white girls have teenaged babies out of wedlock, too... only this one will probably have a gold plated crib, $1,000 booties, and the occasional meal (when mommy remembers to tell the nanny to warm the bottle.)
The nation's new attorney general gets something right, finally giving up the security clearances needed for the Justice Department to investigate his predecessor's -- and those he was lacky to -- domestic surveillance. We await word on whether the Dems will cave on immunity for the telcos that helped out with the government's giant information shovel.
Bush's GOP lackeys on the Hill (I make the distinction to separate them from the Democrat and Independent lackeys on the Hill) demand that the Dems retract their Iraq war cost report putting the cost at $1.5 billion. After all, that report might turn Americans against the war ... HA!!!
And Kanye West's mother's death following plastic surgery is sad ... and should sober people up about how dangerous plastic surgery can be. Earth to ladies: it's not your mother's Botox brunch. Meanwhile, Kanye issues a statement. ... and the doctor who says he refused to operate on Donda West says she ignored medical advice and that doing so may have led to her death.
You knew there was going to be some big drama in the wake of James Brown's death, as if passing away on Christmas Day after breathing "I'm going away now" in a hospital bed, following a diagnosis of walking pneumonia at the dentist's office wasn't dramatic enough... So here it is:
James Brown had a girl right up until the end of his life. His children from previous unions and their attorney have allegedly locked the woman, backup dancer Tomi Rae Hynie, out of the home she shared with The Godfather of Soul and their five year old child.
Padlocked, that is...
Brown's lawyer Buddy Dallas told The Associated Press. "I have not even been in the house, nor will I until appropriate protocol is followed." He also stated on Tuesday that the late singer and Tomi Rae were not legally married and that she was locked out of his South Carolina home for estate legal reasons.
Apparently Tomi Rae Hynie was already married to a Texas man in 2001 when she married Brown according to the attorney, making her marriage to Brown illegal, attorney Dallas said. He said Hynie later annulled the previous marriage, but she and Brown never remarried.
Doh!
"I suppose it would mean she was, from time to time, a guest in Mr. Brown's home," Dallas said.
On Monday, the 73-year-old Brown died at an Atlanta hospital, and Hynie, 36, discovered that the gates to their Beech Island, S.C., home was padlocked. Hynie claims to have a legal right to live in the home with the couple's 5-year-old son.
"This is my home," Hynie told a reporter outside the house. "I don't have any money. I don't have anywhere to go."
Attorney Dallas stated to the AP that Brown's estate was left in trust for his children. No further word was revealed on how the property was to be diviided.
However, there were strong indications it would not be divided with Ms. Hynie...
Dallas said Brown and Hynie had not seen each other for several weeks before his death. ...
(Sigh.) I'll tell ya there's no scorn like the scorn of the previous baby's mama's kids... Now, other news reports have said that Brown and Hynie split in 2003, taking out a very public ad saying so, and then supposedly remarried in 2004 (or planned to...) but this article throws that into question. And then there's this, from another wire service story:
Dallas said legal formalities need to be followed now, adding that Brown's estate was left in trust for his children. He declined to elaborate on Brown's final instructions.
“It's not intended and I hope not interpreted to be an act of unkindness or an act of a lack of sympathy,” Dallas said. “Ms. Hynie has a home a few blocks away from Mr. Brown's home where she resides periodically when she is not with Mr. Brown. She is not without housing or home.”
So which is it? Does she have nowhere to go or doesn't she? Curious. BTW the AP story above refers to Ms. Hynie as Brown's "partner" -- maybe it's a Cali thing. The first fire story, via Monsters and Critics, calls her his "common law wife."
Anyway, on a different note, here's the reax from Rev. Al Sharpton, who cited Brown as a semial influence.
As you know, for many women, there's no man quite so enticing as somebody else's man (right, Julia Roberts?). So this year, we at the Reid Report would like to honor the top five man-stealing hussies of 2006, and their man-ho's, too...!
#5: Denise Richards. How gangsta is Denise Richards? After she dumped that louse Charlie Sheen, she snagged her next man-ornament, rocker Richie Sambora, right out from under the clutches of her best friend, Heather Locklear ... who also happened to be their NEIGHBOR! And she did it after counseling her gal pal to get a divorce ... so she could steal ... her ... man...! I told you she was gangsta! So who are the people in your neighborhood? Man-stealling hussies, that's who!
#4: Britney Spears: Having yanked K-Fed off the couch of his baby's mana interloper from Brandy's TV show, Britney got to breedin' with him late last year, producing, fresh for 2006, an adorable little air bag, who coubles as a yo-yo, and a new baby Kevin can't possibly pay for any more than he pays for the other ...what is it four now, or six...??? Her interview with Matt Lauer? A comedy classic worthy of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour! And how often does your new, soon to be ex-hubby's ex actually THANK you for stealing her deadbeat man? Only in your world, Britney. Now go finalize those divorce papers and put on some drawers!
#3: Scary Spice: Why any woman would want to steal a man capable of making six ... that's SIX kids with one woman is beyond me, but Scary got her Murphy ... and her own little bundle of Murphy joy, too ... assuming that paternity test comes through before he spends all of his "Dreamgirls" money on child support...
#2: Karrine Steffans, a/k/a the video vixen and best-selling author, "Superhead": She helped free Whitney from Bobby Brown, and test drove a Mercedes, all in one gossip column! Love that! Now just keep Bobby busy long enough for Whitney to completely detox and get her album done and we're straight...
... and at number 1: you guessed it! Brangelina! They managed to devastate America's sweetheart, Jennifer Aniston, and enthrall Anderson Cooper and that Asian lady from the Today Show all at once with their charitable, third world adoption magic! Who will they cheat with next??? What lengths will Angelina go to to prove she's not the wicked witch of the West? Can Brad fake that golly-gee do-gooderism long enough to get back his box office mojo??? And what fabulous negro charity will benefit from all this man-stealing, wife dumping excitement???
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"[T]he practice of arbitrary imprisonments, have been, in all ages, the favorite and most formidable instruments of tyranny.' Alexander Hamilton, Federalist No. 84, August, 1788
Damn. It would be perfect except that everybody knows there are no teenaged 
I guess Britney's not the only disfunctional one... nor is she the only slutty one.
The starlet dies in Hollywood ... 
Stay tuned! 2007 is sure to be a doozy!
