Sarah Palin does her best Dick Nixon ... only without the gravitas or the jowls ... (and with a wading thingy on!) From CNN:
And now, Nixon's version:
Interesting that Nixon talked about money, just like Sarah. He was also a paranoid who spent more time lashing out at enemies -- real and perceived -- than governing, just like Sarah. Oh, and Nixon quit his job early, too, though Nixon had, to his credit, a long and distinguished career, serving in the military and in full terms in the House, Senate, as Vice President and President, before he crashed and burned in Watergate and jumped ship before he could be impeached. And therein lies the difference. Our friend Sarah is a better looking Nixon without the accomplishments or the brains.
Watch this completely flummoxed Fox News anchor try to steer commentator Liz Trotta back onto the winger reservation as she calles Sarah Palin "inarticulare," "undereducated" and the stuff of which William F. Buckley grave rolling is made:
Ha! The poor Fox guy was literally wringing his hands by the end!
For months now, I have consulted with friends and family, and with the Lieutenant Governor, about what is best for our wonderful state. I even made a few administrative changes over that course in time in preparation for yesterday. We have accomplished so much and there's much more to do, but my family and I determined after prayerful consideration that sacrificing my title helps Alaska most.
Sacrificing her title? Isn't that how a Miss America steps down?
And by the way, Sarah's lawyer's got a message for that gol-derned mainstream media: stop or I'll sue ya!
When the going gets tough, the tough get going, also
(...and by going, I mean "gone.")
Sarah Palin shocked the political (and grammatical) world yesterday, by pulling a Ross Perot (just as nasally, but much less succinctly,) and quitting her job as governor of Alaska. To add insult to the injury she's now done to her political career (and the voters who elected her,) she tried and failed to pull what I'm sure she thought was a clever maneuver: scurrying out of the 18 months remaining in her term on the Friday before July Fourth. I guess nobody explained to Sarah the concepts of "slow news day" and "sSunday shows...") Here's a small part of Miss Wasila's rambling exit speech (which made Mark Sanford look like the sound bite king):
Watch the whole, tortured 14 minutes here. Or read the transcript if you dare, and good luck not getting a headache from all the verb splitting. Now, of course, basketball analogies aside, there seem to be about three possible scenarios that might cause Sister Sarah to quit on her base so suddenly:
1. Dead presidents. Palin said during her ramble that she and Todd have built up about $500,000 in legal bills defending Sarah's multiple ethics charges. By quitting as governor, she frees herself to hit the lecture (shudder) and TV circuit and make some cash. Hell, she may even get her own talk radio show (can you just imagine listening to her talk for three hours straight? Scary!)
2. The hounds are advancing. Some big, major ethics or criminal probe was about to hit her, so Sarah's getting out of dodge to avoid it. Maybe she even made a deal with prosecutors or investigators to resign rather than face the music. Wouldn't be the first time a politician did that one!
3. Cooped up in Alaska. Sarah loves the fame she's accumulated, and you get the feeling Sarah thinks she's way too big a star to be stuck in the governor's mansion. Her public needs her, and now she's free to give them her all, without the chirping of annoying "ethics complaints" every time she leaves the state. She'd much rather travel the country, stump for Republican candidates and build up some favors in advance of a hilarious 2012 run (personally, I'm hoping for this one.)
4. She and Todd have decided to go ahead and take that secessionist party national. Okay, just kidding on that one. Maybe. Actually, one Huffpo contributor, journo Geoffrey Dunn reminds that she quit her last statewide office too, suggesting she might just be a serial quitter.
5. She's figured out that despite her devoted following, her 15 minutes are waning. So she's decided to cash in while the gettin's good. After all, why should that little shit Levi get all the reality show love. The move also gives Sarah time to rush her book out before Levi's, since Levi's book clearly won't be helpful...
Of course, it could also be all three. Or she might be insane.
Meanshile, the pundits react:
... but Politico leaves off the best reaction of all, by Ed Rollins:
And while Sarah's biggest devotee, Roger Simon, apparently couldn't bear to write a critical word about his Sarah, the rest of the staff at Politico had at it. Jonathan Martin reports Republicans divided ... Glenn Thrush has five questions ... Mike Allen provides some back-up for my scenarios 1 and 3 ...
More good stuff:
The Anchorage Daily News reports on the thrills and chills Palin's decision is sending through Alaska politics.
It's all part of a media busting "documentary" being filmed by a guy named John Ziegler, who according to a caller on the Stephanie Miller Show today, was seriously picked on in high school, poor thing. He wants you to know that Sarah is not an idiot! It's the evil liberal media that's making you THINK she's an idiot... Also there too, she tells Ziegler that the media bias there, and also too Keith Olbermann, that guy's evil!
Anyhoo, gotta sign off now, cause it's time to practice my fancy pageant walkin'!
Update: Sarah says the mainstream media elite are taking her Ziegler interview out of context. No seriously, she's really saying that...
And U.S. News' Robert Schlessinger says that for her own good, Sarah needs to just go away.
Hang on ... Rush Limbaugh is Levi Johnston's mama???
Well ... she doesn't look much like Limbaugh ... maybe with different lighting?
In this episode of "The Wasila Hillbillies" ... The f***in redneck's mama goes down on account of: "Hillbilly heroine..."
WASILLA, Alaska — Wasilla resident Sherry L. Johnston, mother of Bristol Palin's boyfriend, faces a Jan. 6 court date for an oxycontin-related arrest at her home by Alaska State Troopers.
Little additional information was available Friday on the case as authorities remained unusually tight-lipped about details. But Palmer court records listed Johnston's scheduled court date and a troopers spokeswoman said in a release late Friday afternoon that the charges "are in relation to the drug oxycontin."
Holy Rush Limbaugh, Batman! Meanwhile... something looks fishy down at Ye Olde Courthouse...
Normally, troopers file charging documents in court to back up arrests. Clerks at the Palmer courthouse said they hadn't seen any filings, and none has to be filed until the hearing.
The Palmer District Attorney's office prosecutes drug cases. Palmer District Attorney Roman Kalytiak said he was aware of the arrest, but also had not seen any reports or charging documents.
Kalytiak said the standard protocol for drug arrests is that law enforcement officials observe one drug buy, then get a warrant that permits them to record conversations and document more buys.
"I'd imagine standard protocol was followed," the district attorney said.
Levi and Bristol are expecting their baby tomorrow. But will his mama make bail in time for the delivery?
So ... how's that wedding planning coming along, Bristol? You weren't ... planning to have the f***in' rednecks' mama in the ceremony ... were ya?
WASILLA -- A 42-year-old Wasilla woman was arrested Thursday at her home by Alaska State Troopers with a search warrant in an undercover drug investigation. Sherry L. Johnston was charged with six felony counts of misconduct involving a controlled substance.
Johnston is the mother of Levi Johnston, the Wasilla 18-year-old who received international attention in September when Gov. Sarah Palin and her husband, Todd, announced their teenage daughter was pregnant and he was the father. Bristol Palin, 18, is due on Saturday, according to a recent interview with the governor's father, Chuck Heath.
The arrest of Sherri Johnston
Troopers served the warrant at Johnston's home at the "conclusion of an undercover narcotics investigation," said a statement issued Thursday by the troopers as part of the normal daily summary of activity around the state.
Troopers charged Johnston with second-degree misconduct involving a controlled substance -- generally manufacturing or delivering drugs -- as well as fourth-degree misconduct involving controlled substances, or possession.
Troopers released no other information, including the kind or amount of drugs, because details could jeopardize an ongoing investigation, spokeswoman Megan Peters said.
Asked how long the investigation had proceeded before Johnston's arrest, Peters would only say "a while."
A while? A while??? How much of a while? Like, a couple of months, maybe? Like, I don't know, during the PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN???
BTW Miss Sarah isn't commenting, and the baby? He's due TOMORROW. And interestingly enough, his parents (otherwise known as America's Next Reality Show Superstars... on the CMT channel...) still aren't married! Ah, Republican family values.
You really do need to see this. Lloyd Marcus -- the black guy in the cowboy hat in the "Thank You Sarah Palin" Internet ads? Witness his song and video stylings -- first, reworking the Florida state song, "The Old Folks at Home" without even using the phrase "old darkeys!"
And here's Lloyd singing about 9/11, as some Youtuber sets his "music" to the most tasteless video I think I've ever seen...
Here's Lloyd singing to the object of his affection: Sarah Palin. (Doesn't he know they call that "race mixing" in Palinworld???
And here's Lloyd singing a song that might be a bit more fitting for his ... um ... talent level and ideological makeup: "Desperado..."
Hey, are you thinking what I'm thinking??? Joe the Plumber - Lloyd the county fair/street corner/political rally singer DUET!!!