Tiger Woods apologizes to fans and family, reaffirms Buddhism
Tiger Woods finally broke his silence today, and I have to admit, I kind of liked how Tiger stood up for his religion, given the way right wing Christian anchorman turned televangelist Brit Hume milked his scandal last year. He also stood up for his wife, Elin, saying stories she cracked him across the face with a golf club aren’t true. In the lengthy statement, Woods denied using performance enhancing drugs, apologized to all the parents who used to hold him up as a role model for their kids, acknowledged being in therapy, and bluntly admitting he “cheated” on his wife, mainly because he felt entitled by his success to gratify his every wish. But the part that will get reaction from the right was when Tiger reaffirmed the values he was raised with by his mother, who is Thai. Well good for him. Oh, and as to when, or whether, he’ll return to golf, Tiger said he hopes to “someday.” Watch:
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Already, Tiger has managed to come off looking a whole lot better than his playthings, including mistress Rachel Uchitel, who has managed to turn nasty into a TV gig.
VF’s Tiger issue: behind the golfer’s blank canvas facade
Tiger Woods cultivated an image that was essentially a blank canvas — a non-threatening slate on which advertisers and sponsors, video game makers and sportscasters could paint whatever they wanted. As Vanity Fair’s cover story, which includes an ironically “bad boy” pre-scandal photo of Woods by Annie Liebovitz, puts it, Tiger was:
…the bionic man in terms of personality, controlling to a fault and controlled to a fault, smiling with humility and showing those pearly white teeth in victory or defeat, sui generis in the world of pro golf, where even fellow pros and other insiders didn’t really know him, because he didn’t want anybody to know him. With Woods, everything was crafted to produce a man of nothing, with no interior—non-threatening and non-controversial.
And by the way, he’s a damned good golfer. The best of his time, “all of which made him the perfect man and pitchman for our imperfect times, a charming nonperson.” And though he doesn’t consider himself to be and African-American, ironically, that non-threatening image is precisely the route Black men usually have to go in order to be broadly popular (that or a cartoonish thug if they’re involved in hip-hop.) Think Will Smith or Chris Tucker — men about whom you don’t know much, but who rocket to the top based in part on their ability to transcend the image of the scary black guy (think Barack Obama, too, outside of the third of the country that’s terrified of him.) And while I still contend that because his transgressions mostly hurt him with women, people who are uncomfortable with interracial sex and non golf fans, once he starts winning tournaments again, Tiger will be fine (with less endorsements, to be sure, but with just as many video games and tons of money…) it’s clear that he will never again be the “nothing” man everyone can admire just for being him.
Read the whole VF article here.
Tiger ‘on the edge’
The New York Post reports Tiger Woods is barely coping as his bimbo eruptions increase … to 14, including a 48-year-old Florida cougar who claims to have bedded the golf phenom over the course of five years, before and during his marriage. Eek … Read more
Accenture to Tiger: you’re not good enough for us
Financial consulting firm Accenture, whose tagline: “Go on, be a Tiger,” seems totally inappropriate given the circumstances, has quit Tiger Woods (actually, since he’s got a signed contract with them, quitting means they won’t renew his contract, not that they won’t pay him what they owe.) Their statement, posted on the front page of their website, was pretty brutal, in corporate America terms:
NEW YORK; Dec. 13, 2009 – Accenture (NYSE: ACN) today announced that it will not continue its sponsorship agreement with Tiger Woods.
For the past six years, Accenture and Tiger Woods have had a very successful sponsorship arrangement and his achievements on the golf course have been a powerful metaphor for business success in Accenture’s advertising. However, given the circumstances of the last two weeks, after careful consideration and analysis, the company has determined that he is no longer the right representative for its advertising. Accenture said that it wishes only the best for Tiger Woods and his family.
In other words: “ewwwww…” Read more
Splitsville?
Reports say even $80 million won't keep Elin at home.
London’s News of the World reports Elin Nordegren won’t be taking that $80 million. The paper reports that Tiger Woods’ jilted missus will play it cool over the holidays for the sake of the kids, but after New Year’s, she’s outta there. Elin, a twin, former model and daughter of a prominent political family in Sweden, unlike the nearly dozen trashy chippies Tiger made the rounds with, has reportedly already moved to her own place in Florida not far from the couple’s home, and next comes her big move, to a private island off her native Sweden with the kids. So Tiger quitting golf may have been too little too late. Read more
Tiger throws in the towel
After a seemingly endless string of bimbo eruptions, and with news of a moving truck pulling up outside his Orlando-area home, Tiger Woods has turned the time-tested advice of PR professionals everywhere upside down. Rather than doing the obvious 3-step process to scandalized sports celebrity recovery (1. public mea culpa, 2. exclusive Barbara or Oprah interview, 3. go back to your sport and win) Tiger is trying a new tactic: he’s quitting golf (for now). Read more
Report: Elin moves out
With the Tiger Woods harem now reaching 10 (and counting?) including a porn star and a lady with a tendency to go missing for days … reports say his wife Elin has had enough. She’s outta there, according to Radar:
Elin Nordegren had enough and moved out of the $2.6 million Windermere home,neighbors and other sources close to Tiger, told RadarOnline.com exclusively. Sources tell RadarOnline.com that Elin is living nearby in another house.
And Radar reports that mistress #1, Rachel Uchitel, who was also the most recent woman Tiger was sleeping with who isn’t Elin Nordegren, got between $1 and $3 million to keep it in the closet, because … Read more
It’s official: Michael Jackson is Tiger Woods (with girls)
Have you seen their childhood? Tiger Woods and Michael Jackson reportedly shared an addiction.
It doesn’t matter if he’s black or white … he’s a global superstar known and loved the world over (including in Dubai) and now, he’s accused abusing prescription pills. Substitute a bunch of loose women for a bevy of suspiciously omnipresent boys, and Tiger Woods is now officially Michael Jackson (surgery not included.) Hee-hee! HOO! Read more
5 reasons the Tiger scandal won’t hurt his bottom line
The rolling sex scandal/pay the wife to stay saga bleeding Tiger Woods may seem financially fatal to those of us snarking away at his troubles. But in the end, while I certainly don’t condone the behavior, and feel badly for his wife, I’m with ad guru Donny Deutsch, who got hammered by Mika this morning on “Morning Joe” for saying that in the end, the scandals won’t decimate Woods’ bank account (except to the extent he has to deplete it to pay off women, including Miss Elin.) Here’s why: Read more
Now, they’re just coming out of the woodwork
Another day, another girl looking for her 15 minutes of Tiger fame (and maybe a chance at reality show stardom, or a little interview cash, or both…?) That’s waitress/reality show gal pal Jaime Grubbs on the left. She says she had a fling with Tiger Woods back in aught seven, when she was 21 years old. Let’s hope this isn’t a trend. Otherwise, TMZ is gonna run out of bounty money. Say, at this point, couldn’t any Hooters waitress with a Facebook account make the same claim and grab HER 15? Meanwhile, Tiger gets a citation and four points off his license. There will be no criminal charges. Well, at least there’s that…
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